Hello again, my fine frisbee folk. We here at WATCH THE SKIES thought we would kick off this news blog business with a biography of each team, written by their captain. Eventually, all of these will be listed on the "Teams" page of this blog, with accompanying player bios (many captains have already chosen to include those). Listed in ascending order according to pre-season rankings, here are your 2012 ROK-U participants!
(disclaimer: errors of spelling and grammar are the captains', while the wonky formatting is our fault)
Little was known about Gyeongju Godzilla when they
first arrived, but now that they are here they are here to stay. Very few teams
stand unbeaten against this mighty monster while many lie in smoky ruins in
their path. And now from these same smoky ruins has risen another force, a
force that comes from an ancient Dynasty and intends to challenge the very existence
of the Gyeongju Godzilla to stand as the champions of Gyeongju. Will they
succeed?
The Daegu Lightning never strike the same place twice.
Greetings
fellow humans. Team Tsunami (pro-nou-nc-ed Tuh-Suh-Nah-Meee) is the bomb
like donkey kong. We love Frisbee more than we love kimchi, which is a
lot...gee-whiz! First off, Tsunami would like to apologize for all
Tsunamis across the Universe. We don't intend to wreak destruction throughout
the cosmos, it's just our nature. Now for a little story...last weekend
John Johnson was playing frisbee in the park with John Johnson and a small
poodle tried to steal his disc, so naturally, John Johnson snapped his fluffy
little neck. It was sad, especially for John Johnson, but necessary.
Which leads me to my next lesson, don't take the disc from
John Johnson. I'll snap your neck. So, super-duper, here we
go!!!!!
Busan Evolution
was named after what it aspires to do best, and got off to a good start in
Spring 2012 with a hypothermic, exhausted, and well-deserved loss to Pandemic
in finals to finish as the league runner up. Evo is the third Busan team to be
created since the Busan Ultimate scene began to explode in fall of 2011, when
Gang Green first reared its infectious head as the original spawn of Heat.
Sporting 8/14 league veteran players this season, and an almost unheard of
passion/lethargy (4,831/1) ratio, Evolution hopes to continue its mission of
growth, hard work, adaptation, and fluidity into the fall of 2012, being the
most well-adapted team to succeed in the environment of sheer awesomeness that
is the ROK-U. Our history is short but our ambition is great, and we are as
grateful to our Ultimate ancestors as we are excited for our Ultimate
descendants. Oh, and if you want to beat us, you'll have to go through our
jerseys - they are BADASS.
Little is known about this team. They hail from the cold waters off the eastern coast. They rise up from the frigid depths solely to win at ultimate, and then they sink back again, stealthily.
2. The Daejeon PANDEMIC
BUSAN
HEAT, the original team from the South, come roaring back for a sixth season of
thermodynamic, white-hot dominance! Busan Heat and ROKU go way back, to Spring
2010, and Busan won their first championship in their inaugural season, in what
was then the Daegu Ultimate Frisbee League. Fall 2010's playoffs resulted in an
intense universe-point loss to Daejeon. Thanks to the growing popularity and
all-around awesomeness of Ultimate in Busan, Fall 2011 saw Busan split into two
very high-quality teams. There was nothing cold about the evening of November
12, 2011, as the Heat reclaimed the championship in exciting come-from-behind
fashion. Going into the playoffs as the sixth seed, Heat topped four straight
opponents, 3 in universe point, to win the ROKU Championship and take home the
coveted golden tiger! The Heat proved that the more fun a team has together,
the better they play as a cohesive unit, and as a whole the Heat was greater
than the sum of its parts. They also proved that HAMMERS WIN GAMES!!!!
(disclaimer: errors of spelling and grammar are the captains', while the wonky formatting is our fault)
17. The Daegu THUNDER
The mighty Daegu Thunder were one of the "Original 5" that
started ROK-U back in the Fall of 2009.
They didn't fare too well in their first season, being on the short end of
some embarrassing records, including “most points scored against.” However,
they bounced back the next season and made it all the way to the finals,
losing to the Spring '10 Champs, the Busan Heat. The Spring 2011 Thunder
will forever go down as the one of the greatest Cinderella
stories of all time: finishing on the bottom of the league, having a 1
win, 13 loss record, the Thunder surprised everyone battling their way through
the playoffs and making it all the way to the championship game. The
Thunder ended up losing the game in overtime, on universe point, to the Pandemic
of Daejeon. This coming fall, the Thunder are in a rebuilding phase, with
a lot of unproven talent. They hope to make some waves in this year's
league and steadily improve as the season progresses. One thing is for sure:
they WILL be in the playoffs!
16. The Pohang HOMEY GOATS
 |
| The least friendly goat. |
The Pohang Homey Goats
burst forth into the world in the Summer of 2012. However, don't let the name
confuse you, they are not, in fact, goats of a hospitable nature. They are a
group of human beings with the can-do/ 'I don't care I do what I want' attitude
of a goat. They are a new team to this season's league, and don't worry, their
horns are purely metaphorical (they will gore you with their skills and
prowess). Having practiced all summer on coal fire and glass, the Homey Goats
now move so gracefully and lightly, that it "looks like" they are
flying. Indeed some residents of Pohang have witnessed shapes flying through
the air at night, and crime rates in the city have decreased drastically since
the middle of the summer. Coincidence?
The team is comprised of 14
shadowy individuals. Not much was known of these individuals. Until now.
Rob "Ninja"
Catterall: . Rob was trained in the ancient art of Japanese Judo Frisbee. He
spent years practising the art of catching a disc, whilst performing the
perfect roundhouse kick. Catterall has the ability to turn invisible. One
minute he's there, the next he isn't. Legend says that he is a modern day
Samson, his strength lies in his adjumma-style hair.
Nichole
"Electric" Shoch: Raised by the Amish, Nichole had a belated start in
the modern world. But she made up for lost time. A born natural at frisbee, the
first time she played a game, she nearly beheaded a small child. Her trademark
move? Dancing. She dances to distract, and sometimes gathers nearby senior
citizens to form a flash mob to psych out the other team, a la 'Glee'.
Bester: Like Madonna and
Cher, Bester has no known first name. Not much is known of Bester, except that
in the spring time, he enjoys allowing orphaned eggs to nest in his beard until
they hatch and then he teaches them to fly using a lightweight plane he
custom-made. Rumour has it that this is because he was an orphaned egg at some
point, but Bester refuses to confirm this. Speculation says that the 90s family
film "Fly Away Home" is based on his life.
Mary "The Rock"
Musto: Much like the Hulk, few people have walked away uninjured after a run-in
with Musto. Don't let her happy, out-going persona fool you, Musto is in fact
made of stone. Born as a piece of coral in the sea, she eventually evolved into
a human being, whilst retaining the rock qualities of her origins. Despite
this, Musto holds the Guinness World Record for horizontal jumping. A talent
she is happy to bring to the frisbee field.
Barry "Grimey"
Grimes: A newcomer to the Ultimate Frisbee game, Grimey is a natural talent.
Standing at 7' 5", Grimes can get from one end of the field to the other
in 5 steps. Born in a field in the backarse of nowhere, he made a living
travelling Ireland selling fridges. He appeared on "Dragon's Den",
with his revolutionary idea of a fridge that keeps things warm. The idea was
not bought by the Dragons. Shamed, he ran away to Korea.
Amber "Nectar"
Allan: Raised by a community of Eskimos in the Canadian wilderness, Allan is a
dangerous beast. Bear Grylls learned everything he knows from her. Don't mess
with her. Seriously.
Roy Indranil: As a baby,
Roy was scouted by Nasa for their secret "Baby Astronaut" project.
Roy was not chosen to be the first baby astronaut in space, something which has
given him a bitterness over the years. This bitterness is only seen on the
Frisbee field, where his throws are so long, they leave a sour taste in the
mouths of the competition.
Nicole VanDewerker: Born in
a tulip field in the Netherlands, VanDewerker moved to the US when she was
young. Her teenage years were spent in a highly unsuccessful girl group called
"T-Rash", where two of her bandmates were Katy Perry and Ke$ha.
VanDewerker chalked this failure up to experience, and instead went into
weightlifting, where she won silver for the Netherlands in the 2004 Athens
Junior Olympics.
Brandon Burke: Not much is
known of Burke. He is a billionaire recluse who lives alone in his mansion,
with his loyal butler. He never got over the violent deaths of his parents as a
child. He used to be known as a playboy on the social scene, but now hobbles
around his huge mansion. Coincidentally, he started hermit-ing it up when the
Batman left town.
Helen "Bulldozer"
Staton: Get too close to Staton, and she will take you down. Raised by a pair
of gay bulls, Staton has adopted the "bull in a china shop" approach
to the competition. If that technique doesn't work, her boobs certainly will.
Large enough to host a large population of Dr. Seuss characters, her cleavage
should probably be considered another team member in themselves.
Broc "Broccoli"
Gross: He may sound like a relative of the Gross brothers from 80s boyband
"Bros", but Broc has made his name in astro physics. A keen star
gazer, Gross watches the stars to deduce what his movements in the next match
should be. Gross can also jump very high, and lets out a Godzilla wail when
victory is assured.
Steven Evans: Evans had the
chance to represent his country in boxing at the London Olympics this year, but
chose instead to join the Pohang Homey Goats, a career move that his coach,
Apollo Creed, couldn't agree with.
Marian "Deadly"
McHugh: Having grown up exploring the Magic Faraway Tree, McHugh one day saw a
frisbee fly past. She clambered down to investigate this odd thing and the
rest,a s they say, is history.Over the years McHugh has been hit so many times
in the head by the frisbee that her head has developed a steel like resistance
to obstacles hitting her noggin. This has however resulted in her inability to
distinguish if cows are up close or far away.
Luke Hawkins: Originally
from New Zealand, Hawkin trained his pet sheep to catch frisbees. He entered
"New Zealand's Got Talent" with this act, but did not get through to
the semi-finals.
Homey Goats goals: Well, to
win, obviously. Other than that to have some good, clean fun and make new
friends. And to fight crime.
Stats: You don't need our stats to know we're good at everything.
15. The Gumi BEARS
 |
| This isn't the Hundred Acre Wood. |
These bears are largely not from Chicago. Like actual gummy bears, they come in an assortment of fruity flavors.
14. The Pohang OVERS
 |
| They'll buy you a drink to make the defeat hurt less. |
Pohang's second team, the Hangovers, is very much a new addition to the Korean frisbee scene in 2012. But do not let their slightly ambiguous title fool you. They are in no way a second rate team; the Hangovers may be serious about the art of a good party but they are even more serious about the ultimates of frisbee.
Consisting of 12 superb human beings, 11 of whom had never seen a frisbee until very recently, the Hangovers are a severely slick unit, ready to take on the most dangerously deft of teams. Fresh from their orientation tour of Las Vegas (the legendary Bukbu Beach motel), the members returned to practices last week generally unscathed and with renewed energy except for a few missing teeth, some frightening photos and the addition of a giant Bengal tiger to the mix.
Daniel Boyle: Affectionately known as the "Boyler Maker", he is the only member of the team to have ever held, thrown, caught or heard of a frisbee before this summer. He is what you'd call a patient captain.
Chris Kuisle: A master of all trades, Kuisle turned down the opportunity of lead role in a sold-out tour with Korea's renowned cast of Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in order to stay true to his Hangovers commitment. Bravo!
Patrick O'Malley: Veritably untouchable on the field, he is that fast, O'Malley can run forever. He is known to takes short 'naps' on the middle of the dance floor some nights to accumulate extra energy for frisbee matches the next day.
Oliver Von Votteler: Despite his adept motions and fine frisbee form, Oli is an absolute charmer on and off the field, where he has ladies swooning at every word. He could prove to be one of the Hangovers' greatest weapons this season.
Kerry "Dinosaur" Dandie: Dandie, an avid team player, is infamous in frisbee practice circles for bringing entire matches to a standstill with her terrifying 'dinosaur' hands. She insists they are a purely natural reactional gesture when she is under pressure from the opposing team.
Tiffany Alston: Ms. Alston may initially come across as a somewhat timid soul. But be warned, she can be extremely agressive when it comes to defending her territory. Being one of the taller members on the team, she has no problem reaching over, under and through the opposition.
Michael David Atkins: Always to be called by his full name, Michael David Atkins has added ultimate frisbee to his extensive list of extra-curricular activities. They now total 40 different sporting disciplines. He assures us that frisbee is fast moving to the number one spot.
Siobhan Davey: Ms. Davey is a very important member of the team. Sadly, no one can really understand her because she speaks faster than any other human being alive. Fortunately, not too much actual day-to-day conversation takes place during play time.
Forrest Walker: After replacing his two front teeth (there was a rather unfortunate event at the Las Vegas orientation), Walker has regained his Captain America status; tall, blond, strong and fierce on the frisbee field.
Philippa "McEnroe" Francis: Her expletive-ridden rants to herself have gone down in Pohang lore for their sheer creativity. Her trademark move is to swear extensively at the opposing team whilst throwing the frisbee to no one in particular. Watch out though. A team member almost always catches the disc. And scores.
Stephanie Bracken: Bracken loves two things; food and frisbee. If she is not talking about the one, she's most definitely talking about the other. Not a bad sign.
Nick Maffeo: Maffay-yoyo is the mystery member of the Hangovers side. Sometimes you seem him, sometimes you don't. But apparently he has hired a personal technical trainer. We're expecting some explosive frisbee form come the start of the league.
The Hangovers' goals:
To win occasionally, of course.
To improve in skill and understanding of the game.
To make some fantastic new mates.
And always to 'hang' in true Korean east coast style.
Important stats:
Losses: 0
The Hangovers start the season forever undefeated, a most admirable achievement.
13. The Ulsan NARWHALS
 |
| Unicorns of the Sea |
Blood-thirsty whale-pirates.
12. The Daegu POLLUTION
 |
| Truly filthy |
Coming off
an undefeated summer vacation of beer, booze and sexy balloon animals, the
Daegu Pollution are back for their 57th season in the league! This fall
they'll once again be leaving it all on the field...sweat, blood, clothes,
debris, feces, vomit...you name it, it'll all be there. Our only goal for
the season is to be hugged by everyone in the league; that said, the Pollution would
like to apologize ahead of time for our...unique...odor. Please be
assured however that we do have every intention of bathing in Gyeongju come
early October....but please, no pictures. Best of luck to all the other
teams, we wish you success in all your endeavors for ultimate excellence, and
may the filthiest team win!
11. The Gyeongju DYNASTY
 |
| No smiling on the field. |
We are one of the new
kids in town. We are a new team in the league and made up with many first year
players. Don’t underestimate this team, as what we lack in experience we make
up with determination and grit. If we don’t beat you on the field, we will in
the Makoli House. We are not going to impress you with our talent and fancy
plays, but we will show that we can compete with our Determination and
Devotion. The team is led by league veteran Kirk Hart. His first year as a
captain should make for some interesting decisions, even if they are all
decided with some honey makoli. But he has his Dependable Double in Sieun Lee
with him to make the decision more negotiable. Other well-known players include
the Dynamic Duo of Paul Groba and Chris Brannon, who are full of spirit and
commitment. Just a warning for everyone in the league, Paul and Chris played
internationally and learned a few new things: take no mercy. They will run and
gun you down on the field. We are glad they’re on our team and not yours. As
for the rest of our newbies, not going to say anything, you will have to scout
them yourselves. Don’t think that they are new, that they don’t know how to
play, that’s only correct with 70% of them. But goDDammit they will try!!!
Our
main frenemy is obviously our cross-town rivals, the Godzilla. We play and
practice with them, but when it comes to game time, we will squash them like
the little lizards they are. Other teams we are excited to play against are
obviously last season’s champions Daejeon Pandemic, and Busan Evolution, some
of us played with them last year. We are just excited to be in the league and
can’t wait for the season to start. We are here to represent Gyeongju and bring
the city back to its glory days. We are ready to begin the next Dynasty in
Gyeongju. In Korea there will be no more talking about the Shilla Dynasty, only
about the Disc Dynasty.
10. Gyeongju GODZILLA
 |
| Wrecking towns since 1902, Tim Northe's birth year |
Since their debut in the ROK-U Spring 2011 season,
the Gyeongju Godzilla has become a force to reckon with. The team has grown in
strength, confidence and skill since their debut, and continues to grow each
season. Originally the brainchild of the Godfather
of Gyeongju Ultimate (aka Paul Groba)—who captained the team for two
seasons and built a solid foundation for seasons to come. Since then many
changes have been made but yet the same foundation and legacy stands.
Season after season the Godzillas fight to reach the
top, only to be rejected by teams such as Daejeon
Pandemic or Gwangju Uprising –
the two true rivals of the Godzilla. Nevertheless, the wounds have been licked,
the flicks have been honed and the pride restored in preparation for the Fall
2012 season. Could this be the season for them to take it all?
Gyeongju Godzilla is ready. Rookies and Veterans
alike have come to together to form the destructive beast that intends on not
only being the champions of Gyeongju but also the 2012 Fall League Champions.
Brace yourself ROK-U… Godzilla is coming!
9. The Daegu STORM
 |
| Like tornadoes, they destroy houses |
Daegu Storm has
been a part of the ROK-U league since the original 2009 Fall season.However,
this season sees a fresh, original and invigorated line-up donning the purple
jerseys.
New captain
Marnie Ker has gathered an eclectic mix of ultimate players.Daegu Storm will be
combining the talents and knowledge of seasoned veterans, with the athleticism
and enthusiasm of new players to the sport.
This
season is all about learning and growing as a team, on and off the field. Fall
season 2012 is set to be the biggest and best in ROK-U history… and there is
certainly a Storm brewin’.
8. The Daegu LIGHTNING
 |
| Shockingly secretive |
The Daegu Lightning never strike the same place twice.
7. The Daegu TSUNAMI
 |
| John Johnson |
6. The Busan EVOLUTION
 |
| Luckily, they aren't actually chimpanzees |
5. The Gwangju UPRISING
 |
| Fear the fist |
The Gwangju Uprising began its life as a group of likeminded people devoted to the appreciation of internet memes. They started playing ultimate as a way to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome. Though they have risen to become one of the most feared teams in the ROK league, their main mission remains Youtube covers of "Call Me Maybe."
The Uprising's priorities are:
1. The internet
2. Leading mutinies against Spencer, their tyrannical sovereign
3. Sewon Park
4. Disagreeing with people
5. Ultimate
The Uprising holds weekly philosophical meetings to debate important topics in the ultimate realm, such as whether it is "FCU" or "ICU," and the benefits of mustache vs. no mustache. Their pontifications have enraptured exactly nobody, and they are viewed with mistrust by the locals.
Their current roster is filled with the very dregs of Gwangju and a few malingerers from Geoje Island and Mokpo, inserted into the line-up to make them slightly more "respectable." You can easily identify members of this cult by their pinky finger: they don't have one. Uprising tradition, dating back six thousand years, states that all new members must have the little finger ritualistically chopped off.
Once described as a "tornado of nails and teeth" by the late Bryant Gumbel, the Uprising are looking to avoid a three-peat of losing on Finals Day to the team that ends up walking away with the Golden Tiger. To this end, they have been juicing hardcore. The amount of anabolic horse steroids found in any given player's bloodstream would easily disqualify them from any sort of cycling competition. Luckily, there are no anti-doping regulations in the ROK-U by-laws.
If you hear hoofbeats pounding toward you from the West, and a dust cloud is preceded by a thousand starving crows, you will see us, in our true forms, silhouetted against the setting sun. You will know then that the hour of your Downfall is cometh, and you should pray to whatever god you hold sacred that the lidless eye of their burning Fist is cast upon another. For if it turns to you, there is nothing, man nor machine nor angel, that can save you from learning the true meaning of Pain.
Busan Gang Green has been around for a few seasons
and has always been in the hunt for the Golden Tiger. Captaincy changed hands
and many players have come and gone, but the hazards of playing against us are
still the same. We’re a defense-first kind of team, as was shown by our league
leading 46 points against in the spring of 2012. With an 11-1 record last
season, an eclectic and wily group came together to see our efforts fall short
in the playoffs.
This season presents a whole new gamut of challenges. All of
which will be met with respect and spirit. We enjoy every game and take no
opponent lightly, however. We particularly enjoyed beating Daejeon, Gwangju,
and Busan Evolution last year. We’ll be aiming to dethrone Pandemic for the
trophy this season and to party harder than Pollution… both being mountainous
feats.
Once described as a "tornado of nails and teeth" by the late Bryant Gumbel, the Uprising are looking to avoid a three-peat of losing on Finals Day to the team that ends up walking away with the Golden Tiger. To this end, they have been juicing hardcore. The amount of anabolic horse steroids found in any given player's bloodstream would easily disqualify them from any sort of cycling competition. Luckily, there are no anti-doping regulations in the ROK-U by-laws.
If you hear hoofbeats pounding toward you from the West, and a dust cloud is preceded by a thousand starving crows, you will see us, in our true forms, silhouetted against the setting sun. You will know then that the hour of your Downfall is cometh, and you should pray to whatever god you hold sacred that the lidless eye of their burning Fist is cast upon another. For if it turns to you, there is nothing, man nor machine nor angel, that can save you from learning the true meaning of Pain.
4. The Busan GANG GREEN
 |
| They smell like almonds |
3. Ulsan UFO
 |
| Whales! |
2. The Daejeon PANDEMIC
The
defending champion 'Daejeon Pandemic' eagerly await their fifth season since
forming in the Fall of 2010. After losing more than a half dozen impact players
- including some Aussie guy and the two-headed defensive entity known only as
'Crabtree' - they are ready to test the skill and poise of their potent class
of new recruits. Following the leadership of the legendary on-field captain,
Greg 'Guapo' Smith, and his lovely yet fearsome wife, Hyonsuk 'Turbo' Kim, one
thing is for sure - do not rule this team out as they vie for their fourth
league title this autumn!
Other
players to watch this season include, but are not limited to:
'Rad
Hannah' Radford: a massive off-season acquisition, watch for this young gun to
make an immediate impact not only on the field, but at the after-parties as
well.
'The
Sarah formerly known as 'Jones'': Don't let her new name fool you, Mrs. Wind
looks to dominate anything that steps into her path.
Vincent
Olson: now a league veteran as well as Guapo's understudy (and fellow baldman),
Vinnie's stock only continues to rise.
Stu
Fairley and Robin Willis: Acquired from the Ulsan Narwhals via off-season
thievery, these experienced and savvy SAF's promise to be immediate
contributors.
Whether
for their daunting record at staring contests, on-field antics or weekend
dominance of the late-night dance floors; The Daejeon Pandemic are proud to be
the team that you love to hate!
1. The Busan HEAT
 |
| FIIIIIIIIIIRE! |
This
Fall 2012 season, the Busan Heat bring a good balance of speed, deep threats,
cutting and handling. Strong in both the female and male players, Heat has 4
experienced returners to the league and 9 new players, some of whom are well
schooled in the sport of Ultimate and some of whom are new to the sport and
picking it up quickly. Now that Busan boasts THREE strong teams, the Heat are
looking to play and learn and have fun and share the love together, display
terrific spirit and go all the way!!! You can bet that no matter how low the
temperature is this November 10th, the HEAT will be HOT...hot D, hot hands, hot
layouts, hot cuts, hot bodies, hot hot HEAT!!!!
So that's it, ladies and gents, your 2012 Fall Season line-up.
